Wir 3 scheinen eineGeschlechtsumwandlung durchzumachen. Darf ich dich Heiko nennen Schatz? Ichbin jetzt die Paula. Wie nennen wir Dich Mirka oder Milk...?" Ich will kein M?dchen sein", sagte ich, obwohl ich merkte, dass ich michvollst?ndig in eins verwandelt hatte. Ich kontrollierte mich untenrum und"er" war nicht mehr da."Ich find die Namen bl?d. Miriam klingt gut", sagte Heiko."Ich glaub ich verwandle mich immer noch, mein Schwanz w?chst noch", meinteHeiko."Nein Du kriegst einen St?nder weil du. We talked a little bit, but mostly we were eating. Once dinner was over, we started cleaning the kitchen up. Well, I started cleaning. Mandy was on her phone texting someone.Mom came in and said they were going for a short walk and would be back soon. Damn, I hate it when they leave, Mandy always makes me get naked to finish cleaning and I figured it wouldn’t be any different this time. Mom and dad usually take a nice walk after dinner, especially on weekends. And are usually gone for at least. My late Mom was almost as keen a fisherman as me and one day it had dawned cloudy and cool she suggested we try the small stream that ran just below the house called Mill Creek. I let her use my old hip waders as the steam could be waded in places and wore rubber boots myself. The water was still fairly high as it can get low in late summer due to evaporation and careless irrigation which happened a lot back then when the water ran crystal clear, the fish retreated to deep pools and literally. Yes, they have their idiosyncrasies and stereotypes but I understand that they are all individuals and maybe it is just that the individuals that I’ve seen or been around have just been a certain way.I’m confident now of who I am and what I believe in, I’m confident that I’m a good-ish person but I guess I just haven’t had what it takes to punch above my weight. And that unfortunately has left me with a gnawing sense of under achievement. A feeling of inadequacy that I’ve never been able to.
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